Your state of mind has a significant influence on the ability to arouse yourself before sex for the first time. And if you're with someone you find sexually desirable, it may be hard for you to do just that by thinking about whether you'll be able to satisfy your partner with your performance in bed.
Narrow blood vessels are one of the consequences of stress hormones and nervousness. Maintaining an erection becomes difficult due to the improper flow of blood into the penis due to sex anxiety.
Is It Normal To Have Anxiety Before Sex?
When people are overwhelmed by sexual performance anxiety and nervousness, even men who typically don't have any trouble getting excited may not be able to get an erection.
In women, sexual performance anxiety is not diagnosed as much as it is in men, but it can also influence arousal in women. Anxiety and nervousness can stop women from being lubricated enough to have sex, and the actual urge to make love can be taken away.
Anxiety will take you out of the proper sex mind-set. You can't concentrate on what you're doing in bed while you're concentrating on whether you'll do well I.e., your performance.
Sex anxiety affects both men and women of all ages, especially during the first time. For others in the aftermath of a first time sexual experience, this form of anxiety is short-lived and can appear briefly.
However, sex anxiety can make it difficult for you to enjoy sexual intercourse, and they may experience this form of anxiety with more regularity.
It's normal to have sex anxiety, but much of it also stems from what multimedia serves us every day. These steps will help you relieve yourself from stress and anxiety.
How Can I Be More Confident In Bed For The First Time?
Some simple tips mentioned below will help you deal with sex anxiety, such as:-
1.Don't be extra conscious
We see beautiful individuals with flawless bodies due to unnecessary exposure to various media outlets. If we do not meet society's expectations, we mustn't look down on ourselves. If you don't have a flawless body, it's all right.
These ideas affect our mental health and sometimes contribute to depression. However, it is necessary to keep yourself safe, and it is advisable to take care of your body to keep yourself free from mortal health.
2.Talk to someone you trust
You may want to speak to someone you trust if you have sex anxiety or feeling not ready to make out. This may be a psychologist, a parent or relative, a teacher, or even a close friend of yours who's been having sex before.
The role of a counselor is to help and listen, not to judge your choices or concerns. A counselor may support you if you don't have a family member or friend that you feel comfortable talking about sex. Talking to someone about their experiences of feeling prepared for sex and having sex for the first time can be helpful because they may have experienced the same.
3.Understand safe sex practices
Sexual wellbeing and safe sex practices are another significant aspects to consider. They will give you details about staying sexually active and making your first time more enjoyable if you talk to your general practitioner (GP).
Such data will help keep you safe and healthy from STIs or unwanted pregnancy. Practicing healthy sex shows that not only the other person but yourself, you have respect.
Healthy sex strategies that can reduce the risk of most STIs are barrier protection, like condoms, diaphragms, and dental dams, but they need to be used correctly. This is why it is necessary to first talk to a health professional, such as a GP, nurse, or counselor.
4.Consent and safety is everything
People have sex, not for anxiety but because they want to. Similarly, you should make sure that what you want? If you feel like having sex happily, go for it but not when you start feeling anxious. It's important not to do something in which you are uncomfortable only because the other person wants to do it or because your friends do it. This is your body and your preference.
If your partner is ready both emotionally and physically for sex, you should also think. The explicit agreement is a must, so you should inquire if what's happening is OK with them. It's best to keep checking in to make sure, even though it feels uncomfortable. Asking what feels good or does not can be sexy. It can really help make the experience enjoyable by getting open contact with the other person.
You should never ignore the legal age of consent in your state and must also be acknowledged to you. It can have significant implications for someone who is under the legal age of consent to have sex, even though they have expressly said they are okay with it.
Also Read: What Is Killing Your Sex Drive?
5. Stay Calm
Anxiety about results, indeed! That's precisely the problem: thinking of sex as a performance, as something we do that an audience scrutinizes and assesses. Although being sexual, this success mentality causes many men to be self-conscious, self-critical, worried, stressed, and anxious.
In fact, this sometimes leads to the very issue they were concerned about in the first place: erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or orgasm that is difficult to experience.
These sexual issues may be caused by different medical conditions, resulting from various drugs you can take, or maybe made worse by them. Suppose you regularly experience these issues when being sexual with someone else but never experience them while being sexual on your own.
In that case, it is unlikely that the leading cause is a medical condition or medication. But if you are unsure, contact your physician for an examination first.6.
6. Mindful Focus
Our emphasis is on the experience at the moment and to treat any self-evaluative and worrying thoughts as unimportant background noise, as a positive alternative to self-monitoring. This is known as mindfulness.
For the actress, mindful concentration implies absolutely throwing herself into the role and saving assessment until the performance is finished. For the conversationalist, attentive attention implies concentrating on what is being said at the moment with interest and saying whatever naturally comes to mind, without scripting.
For the person being sexual, mindfulness means concentrating our attention on some or all of the pleasurable stimuli that we encounter at the moment-touch, sight, sound, smell, taste, and any good emotions that we can experience-excitement, love, pleasure.
Mindfulness also implies distancing-defusing-from any evaluative or worrying thoughts and feelings we can have when being sexual, treating them as unimportant background noise.
Although being sexual, and sometimes before and after being sexual, some of us have become so used to self-evaluating and worrying that it is unreasonable to expect us to be in the moment immediately we have sex the next time.
And if you wait until you have sex to continue and concentrate carefully, there is a risk that you will begin to evaluate how well you are at the moment, which would only worsen self-consciousness and self-criticism.
7. Discover your body
If you have premature ejaculation issues, pay careful attention to the physical sensations when you masturbate very slowly, and learn to discern the building sensations that immediately precede the ejaculation stage. To gain greater control over the way your body reacts, learn to periodically adjust your touch to less sensitive areas of your penis and testicles.
In an attempt to prolong ejaculation, don't distract yourself. Alternatively, keep your mind on your feelings, and set aside any self-critical thoughts and emotions as background noise.
One last point: when being sexual, physical relaxation is essential. Tension and anxiety frequently contribute to issues of sexual functioning (erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and lack of orgasm).
So in order to calm the body, practice muscle relaxation and steady, deep breathing right before doing the sexual imagery exercises. When you feel tension, begin to relax throughout the imagery and masturbation, but keep returning your attention to the pleasurable sensations and emotions.
When becoming sensual with a partner, mindful practice focus: Have you done the visualization exercises sufficiently to become very adept at physical stimulation, concentrate mindfully on pleasurable sensations and emotions, and set aside negative thoughts and feelings?
Now it is time to start training with a partner. If it is possible, it is best to first speak to your partner about your attempts to solve this problem. Explain to her or him that moving very slowly is important; to be mutually supportive and not to push each other and to concentrate on the whole experience of pleasure, not just intercourse. And recite your positive mindset quietly before any session of sexual practice together.
8. Don't expect too much
It's hard to predict your sexual chemistry, what things you are comfortable doing, and how to satisfy them when you're with someone for the first time. In the bedroom, you may communicate automatically with each other, but there is also the possibility that you are not sexually compatible.
You can feel that to conquer the nerves because you're uncertain of the situation, don't go in with high expectations. Don't expect it to be a terrible experience, but don't automatically believe things would be as perfect and romantic as movies at the same time.
Don't think it's going to be painful, that it's going to hurt, or even that it's going to be the best experience on the planet. Sex isn't going to be perfect for anyone, but you might very easily have the best experience, too.
Even if it's a spur-of-the-moment decision or something you've been planning on doing for a while, keep your mind open to the possibilities of what's to come.
9. Communicate openly
You must let your partner know where your head is, even if you think the moment may "kill" it. Instead of sitting in silence and suffering from what could be a mediocre or even traumatic experience, it's much easier to let your partner know what's up.
Just as you have the right to let your partner know that you're enjoying the experience (or not), you also have the right to say no. Saying no can feel free and make your partner realize that you are in as much charge as they are of the experience.
Who you want to share it with will be a huge part of your experience. You should know whether or not this is a person who wants to please you or is just thinking about himself based on your experiences with foreplay.
Remember, you should be the one consciously wanting to share with others an intimate moment. If the nerves become overbearing, you can say no at any time. Know that you may not be ready if the idea of sex makes you physically ill or is emotionally burdensome.
There is no hurry or deadline to reach, mind. However, if you know that sex is something you want, your first time with anyone or someone new can be an experience, unlike anything you've been through before.
John Mattew is a passionate writer with a professional degree in Creative Writing. He specializes in the Sexual Health category for Cheap Medicine Shop and spends most of the time discussing the research studies with his colleagues. He is a very organised individual and makes sure to inculcate discipline in whatever he does. Fitness and sports are two topics, John can talk about day in and day out.